Tap here to get 5 Secrets to Stress Free Dinners

Big News!

|

posted: 10/10/13

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure policy
|
This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure policy

135219_591891810871154_1995513234_oIt was about this time last week that I pulled some pictures out and asked Gavin if he knew what we were looking at. He said no, so I showed him a few more pictures and asked if he knew what those were.

He still didn’t.

Then his little sister looked at the pictures and said, “Baby!”

I said, “Yes!” And after clearing up for Gavin that the little ultrasound pictures were of our baby, he said,

“Wait a minute. Inside your belly? You’re pregnant? Right now?”

His awesome reaction was only slightly eclipsed by his sister insisting that we celebrate by cheersing our bellies. (Think full on belly bump.)

1271377_587389781321357_1946240495_o

Can I just say that this has been one of the hardest things NOT to write about on the blog?? Have you noticed lately that all my recipe posts contain a story that isn’t really a story . . . they are just sort of words on the page. Half due to my total exhaustion and half because every funny thing that I think to tell you some how relates back to me being pregnant . . . like I can’t wait to tell you about the magical pants that I found (pictured here!) that fit me super well but are stretchy enough to accommodate another human being . . . which is fairly convenient since I’ve got another human being in me.

And I’ve been restraining myself from telling you about the funny story of me mixing juice and soda in a wine glass just to give me an illusion of sipping wine and Gavin looking at me and saying, “What are you doing??”

I could write epically long posts on how difficult on my body this fourth pregnancy has been. I’ve never truly experienced morning sickness, but this baby brought it on fully. I’ve always been able to drink coffee during pregnancy, and now just one little sip makes me want to throw up for hours afterwards.

I’ve also been wanting to write about how truly difficult pregnancy is after you lose a child.

When I first found out I was pregnant, it seemed as though I couldn’t get through each day without hearing multiple stories about miscarriages. It was like they were happening all around me, and it amped up the anxiety that I was already feeling about losing this baby. Actually, that is putting it mildly.

I experienced this with Quinn as well, probably even more so. From the moment I found out I was pregnant until I saw the little flicker of a heartbeat on the screen, I was then and this time as well, certain that I would lose the baby. I’m not a pessimistic person, and I know that this is just a side effect (what a lame way to phrase that) of losing a child.

About three weeks after I found out I was pregnant, I had a dream that this baby also has Vein of Galen Malformation (the extremely rare birth defect that caused Elliot’s death). In reality, there is very little to suggest a genetic link to VOGM, though practically speaking, the cases of it are so few and far between that there is so much unknown. In my dream, the doctors got a gleam of excitement in their eyes and wanted to study us for genetic implications, all while I held another very very sick child.

One of the many (many, many, many, many) things I hate about losing Elliot, is that I hate that this is our story now. There will never be a time going forward when we didn’t lose a child. There will never again be a time when we don’t feel like someone is missing. And, there will never be another pregnancy that doesn’t (for me) have a cloud looming over it.

It sucks.

1262515_587039974689671_1052833568_o

I will say this though.

If you have lost a child and haven’t been pregnant yet again, the first pregnancy right after is so intensely difficult, but when your baby comes and you hold him or her in your arms, the skies part and those clouds looming overhead dissipate.

And this pregnancy, though it has been difficult so far and fraught with anxiety, is so much easier than Quinn’s was. There was a huge amount of joy in seeing this little baby tossing and turing on the ultrasound screen. A joy that I was too panicked with Quinn to enjoy. And I can only hope that each milestone will bring me a little more peace.

So there you have it! Another little addition to the family coming this May!

Until then, Wine & Glue will be Chocolate & Glue or maybe Herbal Tea & Glue . . . .

Most likely Sprite, Cranberry Juice, & Glue. Yumm (she says sarcastically as she misses a good bottle of red . . . or white . . . or any shade in between).

Hi! I'm Lisa Longley, and I am committed to giving you simple dinner ideas and recipes that are easy to make; recipes that will fill your home with joy. I am the owner and author of SimpleJoy.com and I'm so glad that you are here.

Reader Interactions

    LEAVE A COMMENT

    Have a question? Use the form below to submit your question or comment. I love hearing from you & seeing what you made!

  1. Julie @ Julie's Eats & Treats says

    I’m so flippin excited for you Lisa! Try to enjoy it as much as possible…as hard as it might be. I can’t even begin to imagine. And that coffee thing…ya hopefully it goes away in the 2nd trimester like it did for me :) The you can be at least Coffee & Glue!!! Love ya lady!

  2. Jessi @ Practically Functional says

    SOOOOO excited for you guys!!!!

    • Lisa Longley says

      Thank you so much Jessi!!!

  3. Meghan @ The Tasty Fork says

    You forgot to add to the story of the excessive teasing about your extreme morning sickness and possibility twins. :)

    I’m so happy for you guys!! I can’t wait for triple the cuteness from the Longley kids on the blog.

    • Lisa Longley says

      OMG. Meghan I was totally going to write about that, but the image of me shouting at Nathan in the ultrasound room when they confirmed it was one, “IN YOUR FACE!!” didn’t seem to cast me in the best light, lol! :)

  4. Heather @ French Press says

    your family is so stinkin adorable..I cannot wait to see the new addition,and that video if their reaction was priceless

  5. [email protected] says

    Congratulation again! So happy for you guys!
    Try to enjoy every second of it :)
    Beautiful family photo, Lisa!

    • Lisa Longley says

      Thank you so much Lyuba!

  6. Dorothy @ Crazy for Crust says

    Yay! I am SO excited for you! I’ll drink your portions of wine for you. :)

    And ((hugs)). I haven’t been through all that you have been, but I worried my entire pregnancy because of what Mel had been through. It’s not a nice way to be pregnant!!

    • Lisa Longley says

      Lol! Thanks for taking one for the team, Dorothy :)

  7. Sarah @ Dwell on Joy says

    This is such exciting news and so well written Lisa. Congratulations :)

    • Lisa Longley says

      Thank you so much Sarah!

  8. Karah @ thespacebetweenblog says

    This is such a beautiful post, Lisa!! Congrats to you guys and here’s to smooth sailing the rest of the pregnancy! I’d like to say I’ll cheers you with sprite and cranberry juice, but I hate to lie. I’ll try to pick up the wine slack in your absence. :)

    • Lisa Longley says

      Hahaha!! So funny Karah.

  9. Meg says

    Congratulations! Another addition to a beautiful family.

    Looking forward to hearing about your journey.

    • Lisa Longley says

      Thank you so much Meg!

  10. Heather from Poppy Haus says

    So, when I got home from our Carmel trip, I hopped on your blog and read the full story about Elliot. I can imagine that your pregnancy is mixed bag of emotions. I am so happy that I met you and I wish you the best of luck with your morning sickness, a return to coffee (and wine) , and another beautiful, healthy kid to add to your beautiful family. xo

    • Lisa Longley says

      Oh, thank you so much Heather! It was so great to get to drive with you!! A whole day with a stranger sounds kind of awful, but you were so fun to hang out with! Hopefully your ears have recovered from me talking them off :)

SUPER-SIMPLEFAMILY FAVORITES
Broccoli Pasta"Omg! I didn’t think anything so simple could be so good!"
Creamy Cajun Shrimp Pasta Recipe"My family absolutely loved this recipe. Even my finicky eaters."
overhead photo of a gray skillet filled with beef and broccoli recipe, garnished with sliced green onions
Beef and Broccoli Stir Fry"I have made this a couple or more times. It’s easy & quick to prepare. I like this for a quick meal. It will be my go to recipe."

SUBSCRIBE & RECEIVE

5 Secrets to Stress Free Dinners

SUBSCRIBE & RECEIVE

MY TOP 10 EASY DINNER EBOOK!

5 Secrets to Stress Free Dinners

SUBSCRIBE & RECEIVE

MY TOP 10 EASY DINNER EBOOK!