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Kids for Goats


posted: 09/25/12

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure policy
This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure policy

Lately my kids have been making me and Nathan nuts.

So nuts in fact, that we have threatened to trade them in for goats. It’s Nathan’s theory that at least he wouldn’t have to mow the lawn if we had goats . . . because they’d just eat it.

I was nearly put over the edge recently when at the end of a long day both of my children wanted to be on my lap at the same time. And not in a pleasant sitting on me and snuggling while we read Little House on the Prairie and sing kumbaya kind of way. No. Quinn prefers to stand on my lap.

And if I’m stupid enough to lay down really lucky, both kids jump on my lap. No really. Jump. (That stripped area with the boy jumping on it . . . that’s my stomach.)

So this particularly nerve shattering day, both children were trying to sit on my lap. Actually sit this time, thank goodness, and Quinn refused to share me. Anytime Gavin tried to make his way next to her and share my lap, she smashed him in the head with a sippy cup.

Now. I love to be in high demand and loved, but I have a Zero Sippy Cup Violence Tolerance Policy in my house. After removing the sippy cup from Quinn’s sticky little paws, she proceeded to throw herself on the floor screaming in an epic meltdown.

Gavin laughed.

Later that day, after Quinn was in bed, Gavin was sold spending time with his father, and I had started the wine IV drip, I was having a conversation with some great friends about my day using some colorful language to describe my day and my current feelings about having children.

One of my dear dear friends, who I adore responded with:  I’M NEVER HAVING KIDS!

This got me thinking.

Now, let me start by saying this, I have had a number of friends tell me over the years that they are never having children. And I always want to respond with a round of applause. I like to believe that I surround myself with pretty awesome people. People who should be having children, because lord knows we could use more awesome in this world. But if you honestly don’t have a desire to have children, you shouldn’t do it. Having kids is hard!!

Probably even harder than owning goats.

The next morning . . . . well, should I even call it morning? How do you say what time you got up when you didn’t even really sleep? Quinn was awake a lot of that night shivering because her father is extremely cheap frugal and hadn’t turned on the heat yet. So despite a onesie, footie pajamas, a sleep sack, and a blanket, she was cold. We finally got her back to sleep around 5 am, only to have a Gavin jumping on our bed at 6:30.


Anyone know what time goats get up?

It was Saturday, so we decided to head out for a breakfast where I mainly consumed coffee, and we made the most of our day together, including a fun trip to do some apple picking.

We had so much fun together! The kids laughed, ate apples, and smiled. We climbed tress, joked around, and ate apple cider doughnuts.

Shoot. I don’t think goats can climb trees.

Or pick apples.

Now, to be clear. I still stand by my previous statement. If you know you don’t want kids, I applaud you. This is not a blog post trying to get you to come to the dark side just so I can laugh in your face when you are up for endless hours, have to change your ENTIRE outfit for the third time in one day after you’ve been projectile vomited on, or have your toddler hand you a piece of dog poop. (Yes. Those have all happened. To me.)  If you don’t want to have kids, don’t.

But here’s the thing.

I’m so happy I had mine.

It’s like any really good relationship. It’s not all rainbows, glitter, and unicorn farts. There are good times and bad times. Sometimes in the bad times you think you might lose your mind.

But, oh those good times.

My children, Gavin, Elliot, and Quinn, have brought more joy to my heart than I ever thought any other human being could. They make me so happy and make me feel so much love in my heart, that it is an actual physical feeling. It’s overwhelming.

And that is way more than I can say for a goat.

Besides, my kids are so cute, they are each probably worth at least two goats.

Hi! I'm Lisa Longley, and I am committed to giving you simple dinner ideas and recipes that are easy to make; recipes that will fill your home with joy. I am the owner and author of SimpleJoy.com and I'm so glad that you are here.

Reader Interactions


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  1. Laura says

    I love, love, love this post. We’re threatening to sell our (almost) 8 year old for a car, FWIW. :-)

    • Lisa says

      A car!! Genius! Waaaay more practical than a goat!

  2. Jessi @ Practically Functional says

    At LEAST two goats, those kids are too cute! And much happier looking the second day. :-)

    Thanks for sharing at The Fun In Functional!

  3. Amy - while wearing heels says

    What a lovely and hilarious post. It’s spoken from a very real and genuine mommy place. I loved each and every delicious word :)

    • Lisa says

      Thank you Amy!!

  4. Michelle's Tasty Creations says

    Love this post! I have days like that still and mine are 16 and 18 and let’s include the hubby some days too. I love when I read an awesome post that makes me laugh because you’re being honest and I can totally see myself in your place. Thanks so much for sharing at Creative Thursday :) Have a better week :)

  5. Melissa says

    I’m going to remember this post the next time my Quinn throws himself on the floor in a fit of rage that only a 17 month old can throw :)

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5 Secrets to Stress Free Dinners



5 Secrets to Stress Free Dinners