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Mommy Guilt

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posted: 05/31/13

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This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure policy

Mommy Guilt.

Two ugly little words that play in and out of my head on a daily basis.

The last Friday of each month, I have been participating in While Wearing Heels’ This Is Me experiment. The idea is that we as women, as mothers, as bloggers, step out from behind the camera and take pictures of ourselves.

And since I want my children to know what I looked like before they make me completely gray, I love this idea.

Amy asked me to help her in choosing the theme for May.

I chose:  Me time.

I thought it fit really perfectly with May, Mother’s Day, you know the deal.

Here’s the problem.

Mommy Guilt.

It wasn’t until I actually considered this and actually tried to capture some “me time” on camera that I realized that while I do take time for me, it is sparse, it is more and more related to blogging, and it is hardly ever pretty.

Working out it my dingy basement

When I first started blogging, pretty much the sole purpose for it was to have something for me. Something that I could be really proud of outside of my children, because while I try my hardest with them, I don’t feel like I can take the credit for the awesomeness.

But slowly over the last six months or so, my blog has become a business. It’s become a source of income that my family actually really uses and needs.

So now, when I head off to Starbucks with my laptop and my headphones, it’s an enjoyable time . . . . A really enjoyable time! I big fluffy pink heart love blogging and all that goes along with it. It’s just . . . well, I wouldn’t really call it me time.

It’s work.

Working at Starbucks

And this is where I come the point of . . . .whomp whomp . . . . mommy guilt.

It’s really easy to tell my friends, to tell other moms I know and adore, that if you don’t take time for yourself, you won’t be as good of a mom.

But that’s something I really struggle with.

How can I spend all this time at my computer, all this time baking and crafting and photographing and editing and Etsying and then on top of that take time for myself?

It just doesn’t seem like there are enough hours in the day to both give to my marriage, my kids, my family, my blog, my Etsy shop . . . and then to me.

And when I do try to take some of the little extra me time, I end up feeling so restless and guilt ridden, thinking of all the things I should be doing instead.

I don’t necessarily have an answer.

Okay, I for sure don’t have an answer.

Setting up photos for Cookie Butter Biscotti

You know, I vividly remember when I was little complaining to my mom about her not giving me enough time. She very clearly looked me in the eyes and gave me her list of priorities. And I don’t think I even made the top three.

Right up at the top was God, my dad, and herself.

And maybe that’s what made her such a phenomenal mom. She knew enough to put herself, her marriage, and her spiritual life first, because in doing so it would make her more available to us when she was with us.

And yet . . . Mommy Guilt.

So tell me.

What is your answer?

How do you take time for yourself? What is your “me time” and how do you feel about it? Are you able to bask in it and enjoy each second so that when you are back with your family you are really with them?

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Hi! I'm Lisa Longley, and I am committed to giving you simple dinner ideas and recipes that are easy to make; recipes that will fill your home with joy. I am the owner and author of SimpleJoy.com and I'm so glad that you are here.

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  1. Dorothy @ Crazy for Crust says

    Amen, sister. Wow, this is SO true for me too! I was just having this discussion with Mel last night about how it’s so hard to get it ALL done and how I’m worried about summer. How I sit at night on the couch (next to my family) and read blogs/pin/whatever while they laugh and watch TV together. Which is fine – I’d probably read anyway – but I still feel that guilt. That my phone is ALWAYS on. I wish that I could have an hour where I feel like I can put the phone down, but then I go for an hour to work and she’s on top of me “MOM MOM MOM” or the TV clicks on and my guilt meter goes off the charts.

    I wish I had the answer! I like your mom’s – and I think that it’s SO important for us moms to ADMIT we take time for ourselves. We should scream it from the rooftops because there are SO many women who look at women like us, who have jobs, who stay home, who bring that cool new cookie to school, and probably think jeez how do they do it? The dirty secret? We don’t. Our houses are messy, our kids watch too much TV and we drink wine for dinner. :)

    Sorry, that was long winded. But I love this post!

  2. Sophia Del Gigante says

    I like your photo set up! I love natural light!

  3. Holly Waterfall says

    Gah, I feel ya! Just today my son asked me why I never have time to do anything with him. When I’m not working my full time job, I’m trying to work on the blog, and on top of that there’s dinner to be made, bills to be paid, and a house to attempt to keep clean… oh and a workout here and there if I can.
    Because of this, I’m forced to think of my blog time as my ME time, even if it is more of a job (or potential job). It is something I love. It is something I truly enjoy for me. It is part of my personal recovery from my eating disorder.
    But yes, I live with a WHOLE lot of mommy guilt. I don’t want to be like my mom, who was hardly around when my brother and I were young. But I see it happening. I have priorities. And yes, when I list my priorities in my head, they’re my wife, my son, my physical health, and my me time/blog… but i am pretty certain I don’t actually treat them as priorities in that order. I’m not sure how to turn it around. I wish there was an answer. As moms, we wear so many hats and have so many responsibilities, and it is so hard to balance them all. Hang in there Mama… you’re doing the best you know how to do. You can’t ask more of yourself!

  4. Julie Evink says

    Welcome to the club. I really try to only edit photos have my kid is bed and stuff like that but it gets harder and harder. It’s all about balance and I suck at that! I feel terrible if I sneak away to the bedroom early just to read a little bit of a book. The gym has to come at 5:15 in the morning just to sneak that “me” time in. It’s a struggle and I’m afraid it will be until my children are gone!

  5. [email protected] says

    Mommy Guilt! Yep. I’ve got it! I know exactly what you mean about “me time.” It is so hard to justify me time in addition to blog time. I have to keep reminding myself that the income I hope to someday make from my blog is for my family–not for me. So blog time is not me time. I really do need to find balance–especially during the summer when my kiddos are home. Thanks for the honest post. I love that first pic!!!

  6. Lori says

    My me time is working out. I’m a teacher and have two toddlers at home, so I go running with nothing in my ears. That is the time when no one needs anything from me, no one is asking me a question or a favor, I’m only following through on a goal set for myself.

  7. Cathy Trochelman says

    It’s easy….you just don’t sleep! Ha!

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